Dear Former Gym Teacher

Dear Former Gym Teacher,

So on Sunday, I set out for my scheduled long run.  It started out rough as it was staying darker longer and I was trying to get out earlier to beat the heat.  Well after about 30 minutes of tossing and turning and fighting those inner demons in my head, I managed to pull myself out of bed and get ready.

As usual when it comes to my long runs, I tossed around different routes in my head and which way did I want to go today.  Down the paved trail where I would find rolling hill after rolling hill, or did I want to go through the park, where it was mostly flat, however I would have to circle passed my parked car at some point?  I ended up choosing the paved trail so I wouldn’t have to go passed my parked car and be tempted to call it good.

I’m sure dear former gym teacher, you would be so proud, I chose to go the path less traveled and “most difficult” in my mind.  So my run started out like any of my other runs despite the fact that it was already warm and a little too balmy outside.

Dear former gym teacher, you have to understand that on my long runs, my thoughts range greatly.  Most of the time, it is with great ideas and things I want to do.  Today it was a little different.  My thoughts went “dark” so to speak.  No I was not running in the dark for those that thought that.  I started thinking about growing up and being that “fat kid.”  I mean come on, I weighed 186 lbs in 6th grade (and you know, I haven’t even ever told my husband this).  I started thinking about when I did I start to feel self-conscious about myself and about my abilities or lack of abilities rather when it came to team sports and physical activity. When do I recall that I started to hate gym and physical activity?  I plodded along thinking and thinking and thinking.

It was you that made me learn to hate it and to dislike myself.  It was you that made me feel inadvertently self-conscious about myself and my body, even after I later on, became an athlete.  Definitely not a choice I made due to any encouragement from you that’s for sure.

I tracked it down to one particular instance.  ONE.  It only takes on time right?  This is it.

I headed to gym like any other day dear former gym teacher with my class and after our daily warm ups, we were instructed to go out and run two laps around the cinder track.  TWO.  For some, this may not seem like much, but for the 186lb 6th grader, who wore a size 20, this was a lot.  Yes, I get that your job is to instill good health, nutrition and fitness in our youngsters, but how you went about it in my case, was NOT helpful

So I remember taking off running to keep up with my classmates, because that’s what all kids do right?  Well about a quarter of the way around lap one, I, gasping for air had to stop and walk.  I felt defeated but I was determined to keep going, I remember thinking I could walk a bit then start running again.  I never saw myself different from others before, until this day.  So there I was having to stop and walk because I was gasping for air, when I heard you yell out my name along with a few others and sent us to time out by the football field posts.  Coming from the kid that had never gotten in trouble at school, to being reprimanded (in my mind), because I was too fat and couldn’t run 1/2 a mile without having to stop to walk like all of the other kids and your football players.  Really?  Did you try to come out and run with me, to ENCOURAGE me to keep going?  No.  Instead I had to sit there in time out, while other kids ran passed me, laughing, giving me “those” looks.  Yeah I knew they were talking about me (or at least in my mind with their actions they were)  I never held it against them, only you.  You were the one that called me out.  The shy and quiet kid.

Here, you put me in time out and I was sent home with a letter to my parents telling them all about it (and in my mind that your child is overweight and not good enough).  I dreaded having to take that letter home.  I was devastated and upset.  I was furious and in tears.  I remember handing that letter to my mom at bedtime and crying (yet again).  I had went all day postponing the inevitable task of announcing my sorryness as a child.  I remember my mom reading it and not saying a word.  She didn’t get mad at me.  She simply signed the paper and hugged me.  She loved me no matter what.  You on the other hand, dear former gym teacher, did not.

Not only did I have to bring that ridiculous piece of paper back to you signed, but I was reprimanded and had to run that 1/2 mile again WITHOUT walking while the other kids did something else.  I remember taking off on that nasty looking, old, beat up cinder track and running, slow this time, because I wasn’t having to “keep up” with anyone.  I cried the entire way around those two laps (without stopping yes).  I was gasping for air, my legs and knees hurt, my lungs and throat burned, face red I’m sure, but yes I did it.  Not because you had motivated me or encouraged me dear former gym teacher, but because I was FURIOUS and because if I didn’t make it, I would have to do it again another day.   I.  Hated.  You.

The time when I needed some encouragement and someone to SHOW me how to be healthy, you did not do that.  Instead you reprimanded me for something I couldn’t do.  I hated gym ever since.  Did you ever think to look that at home what I was dealing with?  The fact that my dad suffered from diabetes and was going on kidney dialysis?  The fact that I needed some guidance but my parents had too much going on with my dad’s health to help me.  Did you think about the long-term effects your choice of “fixing” the problem would do?  Did you think about how the kids would treat or see me after that?  Did you think about the fact that I needed help, and not being put in timeout?  Did you even know I was shy and quiet?  I got my feelings hurt easily back then?  Did you know because of you, I became aware of the fact that my dad was ashamed of my size?  No….

I.  Hated.  You.  It wasn’t for you that’s for sure, that I chose to go out for volleyball.  It was because of you that after middle school volleyball, I didn’t try out for high school volleyball, simply because there was a timed mile run and because of you, I was afraid.  Afraid of running.  Afraid of failure.  Afraid of being made fun of even despite the fact that I had a wonderful volleyball coach in middle school that encouraged me and knew I would try my best even when I made mistake after mistake and would have to run laps on the bleachers.  He saw that I would try even when I struggled.  I kept trying because he did not reprimand me and put me in time out.

It’s not because of you that I excelled at tennis during high school.  Instead, I had an amazing coach that made it fun and turned it into a game.  A coach that was patient and encouraging.  Not one to point out that I was still bigger than all of my friends, one that pointed out all of my strengths and what I had going for me.

It’s not because of you, that I later became a long distance runner and to this day have run numerous 5ks, six half marathons and one full marathon .  It’s.  Not.  Because.  Of.  You.

It’s because of you, that I was ashamed of myself growing up and afraid to go to gym.  I dreaded going to gym every day.  Even in high school when you were no longer my gym teacher.  The seed was planted.  I recall loving to play kick ball in grade school, but after THAT day in 6th grade.  No longer did I want to play any team sports or go to gym.

Dear former gym teacher, I hope that one day that this finds its way to you and that you take the time to read this and know, that’s it’s NOT due to you that I have learned to love running finally.  It was all of those other people and coaches in my life that encouraged me.  Please don’t take credit for something you didn’t do.  I no longer hate you, don’t get me wrong, but I still don’t like you.  There are far better ways to get someone to accomplish something especially a young mind, which you were put in charge of on a daily basis.  Life isn’t fair and kids are mean, I fully know this, BUT you are a teacher.  You were put in your job to help encourage young minds and shape them. You are put there to TEACH them.  Teach them to love themselves and each other, not to hate themselves and what they are.  Dear former gym teacher, I hope this finds its way to you and you learn that “tough love” doesn’t work all of the time.  Being a therapist, I know all about “tough love.”  It has a time and a place, once you get to know the person’s personality and if it’s appropriate for them.  Tough love isn’t for everyone.  Sometimes it can be more damaging than anything else.

Dear former gym teacher, it is because of you, I shed tears on Sunday’s run.  I shed tears because I recall how I felt just like it was yesterday.  I shed tears because I let you get to me like that.  I shed tears for all of the inner turmoil you caused throughout those years.

I have changed greatly since then.  I am no longer that shy and quiet kid.  I am a grown woman with kids of my own now and I will not let a teacher like you, do what you did, to my kids.  I am stronger and tougher than I used to be.  I am proud of what I have accomplished, all despite what you helped instill in me.  I am strong.  I am happy once again.  I run for myself.  I run for others.  I run to SHOW others that they can do anything they want to.  I, a former 186lb “fat kid,” am a MOTHERFREAKING.  RUNNER.  No thanks to you.

Warrior Dash both

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Sincerely,

Your former fat student

The Reality of Motherhood

So it has yet again, been awhile.  I set the goal to work more on my blog and within the first few days, your goal disintegrates.  POOF!  Just like that!  Just like trying to lose those “last 10lbs.”  Hmm….funny how that happens huh?

I’m sure every single one of you has had that happen.  Not the need of trying to lose those last 10 lbs, but starting something with the best of intentions and then life happens, you get sidetracked, you forget, you lose focus.  Whatever it maybe.  It just doesn’t become high on the priority list, especially when you have kids.

I mean with a ten-year old and a four-year old, who has time to think most of the time, let alone put it into words.  By the time I get them in bed and it’s quiet, I want to crash in bed.  Just ask my husband!  “Alone time” with my husband?  After the kids have gone to bed?  You mean I have to be sexy?!  What the what??!  HA!  Just give me my blankie and pillow!  Yes I am aware my husband may or may not read this and will probably be shaking his head, but I’m just being real here and I know I’m not the only one out there.  It’s not that we don’t want that time with them, but we do sooo much for our families, that when it’s time to crash, we just crash!

mom

 

Am I right or am I RIGHT?!?!

Who knew as a mother AND a wife so much of our time would be dictated by others? Nothing was ever mentioned about this in a book, in that Young World class that Mrs. Lesser (and we, as a class, had so much fun with her!), or for Heaven’s sake by our OWN mothers?  MA?!?!  Come on!  You were holding out on me!  Oh wait I know why!  Because we want revenge on our own kids!  AH HA!  I figured it out!

Heck I tell my own daughter, if she doesn’t have kids when she gets older, I will adopt some for her!  You know, just like you do animals!  Go down to the pound and pick out the right one!  That’s how it works right?!?  I mean it’s all about attempting to raise your kids right, not screw them up, teach them to be strong, independent individuals that are kind souls, do right in the world and help others as they can right?!  What’s a little payback to them for all that they “put us” through?!  Hardy Har Har!  Okay, seriously though I’m JUST KIDDING!  I know that’s not how one goes about it, and I know that kids aren’t for everyone, but I have to laugh and say what I know some of you are thinking.

Okay, so back where I started.  Got sidetracked again.  SQUIRREL!  HA!

So as busy mothers, we try to take on more tasks, or get this brilliant idea that we are going to do something new in our lives for US, but how do we fit that in?   How do we find the time to take care of those tiny little humans that we created, care and show affection to the love of our lives and then of course still take care of those furbabies that have been added to the family over the years that those little humans promised to feed and water so that “you don’t have to,” PLUS take care of the house and (GASP!), try to work outside of the home?!  Oh Lordy!  I mean come on those tiny little humans and the spouse want to eat every. Single. Night!  COME ON!  That’s a lot of commitment dude!

So where in all of that do we find time for ourselves and still manage to survive the day without taking someone’s head off?!  I mean it’s no wonder that one in FOUR middle-aged women take a prescription med for mental health!  (You can check out the article here.)  Oh yeah….we get up at the butt crack of dawn or we stay up til the butt crack of dawn.  Take your pick.  One or the other!  Or both, I mean who needs sleep anyway right?  Sleep is overrated anyway right?!?

This is where I take advantage of early mornings.  I get up, exercise and then head out to my oasis and get to work.

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I mean what mother doesn’t have SIPPY CUPS in their oasis?!  Or is littered with toys?!  It’s amazing at how much stuff I can get accomplished though at 6 am!  The world is yet to awaken (or at least at my house, husband, kids, OR animals for that matter), I mean I get out to my usual running location on my run days and the parking lot is filled right now with those bikers and fellow runners who are out trying beat the heat and humidity here in good ol’ Oklahoma.

I am the first one to tell you I am NOT a morning person.  I am not a night owl either.  I like my uninterrupted sleep of 8 hours just like everyone else, but let’s face it, once you become a mother, that doesn’t happen regularly!  Some nights its 4-5 hours of sleep, occasionally it’s 9 hours of sleep, but on average it’s more like 6-7 hours of sleep and then I’m doing good.  I don’t know what your average is, but that’s mine at least.  I would rather sacrifice a little bit of sleep and feel good about myself, all while feeling accomplished in my day.

Despite all the time though that I put into my family and making sure they are all happy and healthy, I seriously love them to pieces and wouldn’t trade them for the world.  They keep me sane (and drive me insane some days!) and grounded and love me regardless.

family time

 

What do you Super Moms do to make it through your day?

 

I want to know!

Kim 🙂

 

 

 

I think I disappeared!

Wow!  Has it really been almost 3 months since I have posted?!!? HOLY COW!  Who knew taking a new job would suddenly render me out of commission on blogging.  Who knew that by adding ONE MORE hour to a normal work day, would leave someone so utterly tired with feet KILLING me that I would only come home, eat dinner with the family and zonk out as soon as the kids were in bed only to wake up and do it the very next day.

So if you remember from my last post back in February that I had taken a new job at an outpatient clinic.  Enjoyed it for the most part except the long days and the constant running around the clinic (I averaged over 10,000 steps a day just at the clinic alone!).  My husband was able to make his work schedule fit our family’s needs, however it grew to be more and more difficult.  He ended up losing his co-worker and friend at the end of February and life became chaotic from then on.  He would have to get up at the crack of dawn to get started so that in hopes our son wouldn’t have to spend the entire day at the sitter, however it didn’t always work out.  An overnight out-of-state trip here, several long, trying days there, selling a house, a week-long move since I was unable to take days off, potty training, and getting acclimated to a new house with a 8-year-old and a 2-year-old and completely new hours for school and work ALL while trying to learn a new job, someone just had another plan for our family.  We can say we tried, however it was just not meant to be.  So beginning May 11th, I am going back to my old job, so that I may have the flexibility in my schedule that my family needs.  No longer will I have to try to wake my cranky (now 3-year-old) up at the crack of dawn and get him up and functioning, fed, dressed and out the door, while dropping both him and my daughter off at school because she can no longer ride the bus from our new neighborhood.  No longer will I come home about 6:15 to find that my husband was doing his best to throw a meal together so that I wouldn’t have to do that after a 9+ hour day.  No longer will this momma only exist to her family, but she will be back on her feet (without them hurting or the sharp, shooting pains that come from the uncomfortable shoes I had to wear), enjoying time once again with her husband and kids like she should be.

 

Life isn’t all about making the money in life.  Life is about making ends meet and enjoying what you have in front of you.  As I eagerly count the days until my return back to my previous work family (whom I GREATLY missed), I will enjoy what I have learned thus far at my new job, be thankful for the new bonds I have formed  and the people who I have met, however my first priority is my family at home.  Our happiness and health is most important.

 

What have YOU been up to lately?

Happy New Year! Bring on 2015!

So one of my goals this year is to be more active on my blog.  I often think of things to write during the day, then when I get home and the chaos of kids hits and I hit writer’s block.  Doesn’t make for a successful blog let me tell ya!

Another thing I’m hoping to help change this year is the way fellow moms think.  Just recently I had a mom tell me that I was selfish of all things for spending so much time exercising and worrying about my health versus spending it with my family and taking care of my kids.  HELLO?!??!  How else is mom suppose to remain healthy?  Exercising is NOT being selfish especially as a mom.  I feel kids learn by their parents setting an example and how is it when mom is eating crap and not taking care of herself a good example for her children.  Here she is worrying about whether they eat their veggies and what not and then she “don’t have time” to do that for herself?  I call bullshit!   Excuse my language, but this is something I am very passionate about.

I’m pretty sure kids will grow up just fine and not to mention learn some independence in the process, if mom isn’t focused on them 100% of the time.  If kids get 100% of your time and effort, think of it as them learning to be selfish.  It is alright if you take 30-60 minutes of your day to focus on YOUR health.   Exercising is NOT about “being skinny” or “looking good.”  It’s about being HEALTHY and planting those seeds in your children so that they learn the value of making good decisions.

Not only will mom’s health improve from daily exercise, but so will her stress levels, her self esteem and her overall life/marriage.  As my friend says “happy mommas, make happier families!”  RIGHT ON!

In another recent conversation with a fellow mom who was worried about her health, however did not want to lose anytime with her babies.  What about when your health is suffering and you can’t truly enjoy your time with your kids 100% because you are in pain or discomfort or just uncomfortable in general?  How is that any better?  How is it any better that you spent ALL your time focused on your family and kids and then you are disabled or even worse gone at a young age because you didn’t spend the time to focus on you either?  Your kids and family NEED you even after they are grown.  Trust me, I know this from a fact.  Losing my dad at the age of 19 was devastating.  Granted it has been what makes me so passionate about health and wellness, but it also lead to many tears over the years of the things that I was deprived of.  Having my dad walk me down the aisle.  The support from him going through a divorce.  Knowing that my dad had met my husband.  The list goes on and on and I’m sure it’s not over with.

Take the time to work on your health. Please!  I beg all of you mom and even dads out there. It doesn’t have to be much.  Thirty minutes daily is all that is really required.  That is a fraction of your day.  Show your kids what it truly means to be healthy and lead by example.

Plant those seeds and stop thinking/feeling like your being selfish by focusing on your health this year.  Your whole families health depends on it.

Life of a Working Mom and Back to School

Oh boy…this has been one of THOSE weeks for sure!  Thankfully it’s the last week before school starts.  Not that I don’t like my kids hoe from school (less stringent with bedtimes), but a nice set schedule will be nice.   This week for work has been fairy busy and of course I’m slowing getting over the “crud” that I had still.  The congestion has went away but the cough is still there and my lungs don’t feel 100% again yet.   Not to mention the feeling of fatigue and occasional feeling of shortness of breath.  I will be glad once I feel 100% again for sure!

So many parents sent their kids back to school this week.  I truly enjoyed seeing all the return to school photos on Facebook.  We haven’t gotten there quite yet.   My 8-year-old returns to school on Thursday, August 21st.  I can’t believe she will be in 3rd grade this year!  It completely baffles me!  Where did the time go?!?

sofie 1st day

 

First day of Pre-K3

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I’m just amazed at my bright, sweet little girl and all the joy that she has brought to my life, but now she is getting so big!  The things that come out of her mouth are so funny and sometimes off the wall.  She never fails to keep us on our toes that’s for sure!

So as we go into the final few days before school starts, I am preparing schedules and meals, workout schedules, getting the house in order from the summer chaos and trying to get everything back in order.  Although right now after a full day of work the thought makes me want to yawn.  Can’t I just go lay down on the couch and nap?   Even just 30 minutes?

No I tell myself!  Finish this blog post and get up and get into the kitchen to start dinner before everyone is starving to death.  We did rearrange the schedule some this school year to accommodate my new Fit Club that I have going on every Tuesday night.   So starting in September Sofie will now start going to gymnastics on Monday nights instead of Tuesdays to make it where we only have one activity going on in a days time.  Only a few more weeks to get through of Tuesday’s being packed.  Also I’m going to continue getting up early to get my runs in early in the day and then program workout in the evening in which I’m going to be restarting PiYo since being sick I missed so many of the workouts.

Did your kids return back to school this week?  What grades?   What things do you do to make your schedule easier during the school year?

Little Boys and Terrible Twos

Aye yi yi!

That’s all I got to say!  The “terrible twos” have definitely hit in this house hold!  So yes, I still think I have the cutest son (what parent doesn’t think that about their children?), but he most certainly is testing his boundaries (not to mention my patience).  HA!  I keep reminding myself that it’s only going to get worse with “terrorizing threes” because let’s face it three-year olds are buttheads.  I will just put that out there.

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I seriously think that kids should get cuter as they age so that you are less likely to beat them (or gouge your eyes out)….maybe.  Okay, okay I’m kidding, but you get my point.

So with my son, it’s not that he is throwing tantrums or crying and what not.  But the word “no” has become strong in his vocabulary.  Sometimes he can be just as sweet and helpful as can be (when he wants to be), but then he can be a little turd head.  Not listening, hitting when he gets mad at you, the occasional breakdown which is to be expected. Plus let’s throw in there the fact that he is a little boy and he IS going to test the waters even more so then what I remember with my daughter, and let’s not forget about the fact that he is male and INVINCIBLE!  HA!

Tonight we were headed to Wal-Mart to get a few items and we got out of the truck and his face was dirty.   My husband made the comment that he looked like a vampire because he had had juice that was red and he had a red ring around his mouth.  Well when I was getting him out of the truck, I thought to myself, that really looks more like blood.  Yep!  It sure was!  He wasn’t crying or anything but we couldn’t figure out where it was coming from.   We sat him on the bed of the truck trying to get him to sit still so we could look inside his mouth as there was no obvious place otherwise.  Let’s just say that took both of us to get him to cooperate!  Oh gosh!  He wasn’t crying or acting like he was hurt, but I just wanted to know where it was coming from.   Finally I got him to stick out his tongue.  He had bitten the tip of it somehow and it was bleeding.  Not bad that my first thought is “we need to go to the ER,” but bad enough we didn’t want him to keep sticking his tongue out as we walk through Wal-Mart with blood coming out.  Finally it started to subside but of course we get home and he wants a snack.  Of all things he chooses an orange, which of course I’m sure from the acid in it, his tongue starts to bleed again.  Not bad but some, it stopped shortly after he stopped eating the orange.

After that I finally wrestled him down and got him changed and ready for bed.  I was the bad mom though and sent him to bed with only a glass of water and not brushing his teeth.  I didn’t want to brush his teeth to have the tongue start bleeding again.

We shall see what shenanigans he gets into tomorrow!

What things did your 2 year olds do to test your patience?

Relaxing Weekends

So we basically had nothing to do this weekend for a change.  Nothing that required us to travel really.  I did have a health expo that I did on Saturday with another fellow coach.  It was a good start to getting our “feet wet” in that department.

After the expo was done, I got to come home and enjoy my weekend with the family.  My wonderful husband rallied the kids together to help clean the house so it wouldn’t take as long.  Our daughter of course had to protest but eventually started helping out with some prodding to say the least.  The 2-year-old was actually very helpful in the beginning to help pick toys up and such.  Of course we kept having to keep redirecting him to new tasks so the toys wouldn’t start coming back out again though.  Today was a different story to say the least!  HA!  His idea of helping was dumping a small bottle of bubbles out on the floor somewhere we couldn’t see initially until he was running around and slipped and fell in he puddle of bubbles.  Luckily it was on the hardwood floor and not the tile.  It was a little more forgiving on his head, despite his hair being covered in bubbles now.  He was encouraging us to keep moving and keep cleaning though as he kept bringing us pretzels along the way.  He can be sweet when he wants to be!

Today, now that the house is clean, I’ve been working on my LEAST favorite chore…..laundry……bleh!  I despise laundry with a passion!  I would rather go out and run in the heat than do laundry!  Yes, it’s THAT bad!  I.  Do.  Not.  Like.  Laundry.

One of the things that I was given to try out are these little gems.

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I was given these as a sample to try out by Margaret from The Pontes Group.  These things are quite delicious!  Delicious to the point that I have to remind myself they aren’t candy.  Think of BIG M&Ms!  They have 3 different flavors:  Chocolate, Mint and Peanut Butter.  My favorites being the Chocolate and the Mint.  Peanut Butter is pretty good, but not my first choice.  One small box of Energems has the equivalence of 3 cups of coffee!   I’m good with one single serving which is 3 Energems.  If I need a little pick me up, this is a nice, little treat when I’m not able to get to my coffee pot!  My husband loves the things too.  I actually had to hide this box from him at one point!  HA!

To read more about Energems you can check out their website.

How has your weekend been?

Disclaimer: I am not sponsored by Energem  and while I received a free sample to review, I received no other compensation for this post and my review is 100% my own, honest opinion.

 

When REAL Life Interrupts Plans

So all the highly productive and successful people say to “make lists.”  I got that down fo’ sho!  But what happens when that thing called Life throws a monkey wrench in your plans?  You keep on going and do the best that you can, that’s what!

So the last couple of weeks have been busy with work and preparing my daughter for her Rooster Day 5k Run here in Broken Arrow, OK while still prepping myself for my 3rd half marathon coming up June 7th all the while starting Focus T25.  I’ve dealt with a sick husband and a sick toddler.  Not fun, I must say!

As for the Rooster Day 5k with Sofie.  I was feeling iffy going into it.  She was determined to place in her age group, however all of her runs were hit or miss.  I just let it be as she is only 8 years old, but she can be so competitive at times, and as any parent you hate to see their heart-break.

In the car headed to the 5k, you could tell she was excited.  We hadn’t run since Tuesday before with all of her extracurricular activities and my work schedule just left me drained, but we were determined to have fun.  We were the “Pink Divas” after all (her name choice not mine!  HA!).

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While we were in the small corral area waiting for the gun to go off.  She ran with this wand the whole time.  Lots of people were asking her if she had run before or if she was a runner.  I tell you this girl did NOT inherit her momma’s body!  She is long and lean with this mile long legs.  She puts on her running attire and she looks every bit of what most people in vision a runner to look like.  #jealousofherlegs My little brown-eyed beauty!  <3

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She may not have got her momma’s pale skin, or blue eyes, but she got every bit of my stubbornness and determination!  No wonder we butt heads on many occasions!  Pre-race photo!

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Post race picture!  Starting to get dark, so I apologize for the bad picture.  Super proud of her here.  She kept to herself the whole race.  Wouldn’t talk to me much.  Every time I looked at her to see how she was doing, she was in her “zone.”  She was focusing on her breathing.  I would ask her how she was doing and she would nod and tell me “good.”  She knew we had to push the pace if she wanted to pace, but I never told her how fast we were running compared to all of her training runs.  Every time we came up to another little girl or boy near her age, she would tell me we had to pass them.  This bolt of lightning came in 2nd place in her age group with 29:53.  Her and the first place girl were neck and neck the last 200 feet or so.  Super proud of her!  She is already asking when can we run again!  Hmm…sounds familiar…. 🙂

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Her with her very first medal!

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In between all of this and T25, I have been battling some health issues.  I won’t go into great detail, but will leave it as something only females will have to deal with.  But I have been having issues the last ~4-5 months.  First doctor I mentioned it too a couple of months of go, said it was no big deal, but this nagging thought in the back of my head told me to go see my primary care or my ob/gyn.  Well I went in last Thursday.  Got some blood drawn and examined and sent for further testing which I had today.  I’m not sure yet what any of it is, other than I “have something on my right ovary.”  So I had an ultrasound done today.  Granted she told me that in most cases that it’s a cyst, that still doesn’t eliminate the possibility of having to have surgery or more.  I’ve been trying to stay focused on my training and my family’s health and as always thinking positive.   I won’t say emotionally but I know mentally, my states have been all over the place between the positive mini talks and deep, inner focus.  Not sure how to describe it.  Lost in my thoughts and “zoned out” is the best way I can describe it.

As of right now, I know absolutely nothing other than even though I had a tubal ligation after having my son, I find myself now back on birth control pills trying to regulate hormones and decrease risk of cysts (if that is in fact what it is).  So if you find me quiet on here or on my Facebook page, this is most probably why.

I had a wonderful Mother’s Day weekend with my 3 favorite people and yes I made sure to call my momma and even my mother in law to wish them Happy Mother’s Day as well.

Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers til we figure out what this is exactly.

Now there was a thought!

Well I meant to blog today and I had it all written out….in my head that is. I came home from work and life happened and my “soft copy” got lost in the commotion. But you know what? I had a wonderful evening spending it with my family! I now type this up on my iPad as I lay in bed waiting for my husband to get out of the shower.

As moms, we often get down on ourselves for not completing everything on our “to do list.” I vote that we get rid of this thinking! I don’t feel bad about not doing something to spend time with my family. Now if it’s exercising, I will make sure it’s fit in somewhere, but little things like this…NOPE.

Night all!

Motherhood, wifedom and getting your $h*t done

So one thing I always hear or get asked is “You are Super Mom!” or “How do you manage to find time to get everything done in a day?”

You want to know the real answer?  I DON’T! HA!  Were you expecting some miracle deal that I had?  Nope!  I don’t have a maid, even though I would entertain the thought of one, however the idea of paying for someone to clean up my house when I am perfectly able to seems a bit ridiculous in my mind.

Honestly, I don’t know about other moms out there but there are some days it feels easier than others to get everything in.  I always feel like I need more time in my day though.  That is a constant in my life that and coffee! Between spending time with my kids and husband, getting daily stuff done around the house, work, and exercising.  Some days aren’t long enough.  You know what?  That’s okay!  So what that my livingroom looks like a toy store blew up in it.  I DO have kids and one being a toddler after all, I can’t expect an immaculate house.  I would LOVE the thought of it, but I will have time for that when my kids are grown!   Do I feel guilty?  NOPE!  I prioritize my agenda daily.  So don’t for once think that I’m “Super Mom” and get all this in daily.  HECK NO!  My kids and husband come first, work and my health.  I may or may not get all my chores done around the house during the week, but we stay afloat.  Both of my kids help with dishes nightly, yes even the toddler.  He is at that wonderful age where all he wants to do is help, so I let him!  Yes, there might be “uh oh” moments along the way, but who cares.  He is learning!  So what that it takes me twice as long to do laundry because he wants to help carry the clothes, load them, put them in the basket and push the basket to the chair I sit in when I fold clothes.  But THAT’S OKAY!  I loathe laundry!  He makes it fun for me.  Plus I’m getting help with it so I won’t complain!  2014-01-18 18.30.35

I have a wonderful, loving husband that fully supports my running addiction. He may say I’m crazy from time to time, but he “gets it” as I “get” his storm chasing hobby.   (Which is quite interesting I might add!)  He has gotten really good in the kitchen too and will often help me out and get dinner going, even when I’m at home cooking myself.  Nothing is sexier than seeing a man in the kitchen right?!?!  🙂

So when you think you are failing, think twice.  Look around at all the stuff you DID do today and not what you have left to do.  Family comes FIRST, however your health and wellness should be just as important.  Without “mom” in the house, what would they do?  Prioritize your daily “To Do’s” and make a To Do list if you must.  Some days I need a list, some days I’m just on autopilot and know what I need to do.  Schedules are a must for me though on some things.  Menu planning, exercise, extracurricular activities and work.  My daughter participates in TWO, yes ONLY TWO activities.  Gymnastics and Girl Scouts.  I will not let her have something scheduled daily.  She often gets frustrated with it after a while and just wants a day off as well to play with her friends.  I see some parents that have their children doing something daily.  Not in this house!  She has to have time to get daily chores, homework, reading done without feeling rushed.  Plus I don’t want that feeling of feeling rushed through life.  Take it easy, enjoy it.  It goes WAY TOO FAST and your kids are grown right before your very eyes.

Rule of thumb, DON’T get down on yourself for not accomplishing everything daily.  However I feel like mom’s should make their health and wellness a priority too.

End of story.  Period.

QOTD:  What things do you do to make your daily tasks easier?